提升自我的10个方法】

1、每天读书

2、战胜你的恐惧

3、升级你的技能

4、承认自己的缺点

5、向你佩服的人学习

6、培养一个新的习惯

7、好好休息

8、帮助他人

9、让过去的过去

10.从现在开始。

如果您還有夢

戰勝自己，才是命運的強者!

我們永遠無法預知，在命運的十字路口，會發生什麼，但我們可以選擇，是就此放棄，還是忍痛前行。奔向夢想的終點，即便沒有勝利的獎牌，但尊嚴和驕傲，將與我們一路同行。通­往成功的跑道上，只有快慢之別，並無勝負之分。戰勝對手，只是人生的贏家，戰勝自己，才是命運的強者!

How to forgive

One of the thorniest and most difficult things we humans are ever called upon to do is to respond to evil with kindness, and to forgive the unforgivable. We love to read stories about people who have responded to hatred with love, but when that very thing is demanded of us personally, our default seems to be anger, angst (dread or anguish), depression, righteousness, hatred, etc. Yet study after study shows that one of the keys to longevity and good health is to develop a habit of gratitude and let go of past hurts.

Want to live a long, happy life? Forgive the unforgivable. It really is the kindest thing you can do for yourself. Your enemy may not deserve to be forgiven for all the pain and sadness and suffering purposefully inflicted on your life, but you deserve to be free of this evil. As Ann Landers often said, "hate is like an acid. It damages the vessel in which it is stored, and destroys the vessel on which it is poured." Consider reading Alice Miller on forgiveness, or James Rubart's novel The Chair, which includes the themes of healing and forgiveness.

 

Steps

1.  
   Realize that the hate you feel toward your adversary does not harm him or her in the slightest. Chances are, your enemy has gone on with life and hasn't given you another thought. "Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for it to kill your enemy." spoken by Nelson Mandela.
   
   
2.  
   Understand that the best revenge against your enemies is to live a successful and happy life. Want to get even with someone who tried to destroy you? Show them and show yourself (and the world) that the obstacles they tried to create were not significant enough to disable you and/or destroy you.
3.  
   Realize that the second best revenge is to turn the evil into something good, to find the proverbial silver lining in the dark cloud. Think of your enemy as someone who has helped you to grow. Even though unfortunate things happen to us, the best thing we can do is take those opportunities as tests that will either destroy or strengthen us. If you've been through something, it didn't destroy you - take what you learned and become a better person because of it.
4.  
   Look aat the situation in the eye of an eagle.
   Make a list of the good things that emerged as a result of this awful experience. You've probably focused long enough on the negative parts of this experience. Look at the problem from a completely new angle; look at the positive side. The first item on that list may be long overdue because you have focused on the negative for so long. See if you can identify 10 positive outcomes of this experience.
5.  
   Look for the helpers. Fred Rogers (Mr. Rogers) related that, as a little boy, he'd often become upset about major catastrophes in the news. His mother would tell him, "look for the helpers." In your own nightmarish experience, think back to the people who helped you. Think about their kindness and unselfishness. Practice what you have learned from them.
6. 6
   Look at the bigger picture. Was someone your "Good Samaritan"? In this biblical story, a traveler happens to come across a poor soul who was beaten up on the road to Jericho and left for dead. It's a lot easier to play the part of the Good Samaritan than to be the poor soul who is left bleeding and bruised on the side of the road. Perhaps this isn't all about you. Perhaps your trial provided an opportunity for others to rise to an occasion to provide you with help and support.
7. 7
   Be compassionate with yourself. If you've ruminated over this problem for a long time, steering this boat into a new direction could take some time, too. As you try to make a new path out of the dark woods of this old hurt, you'll make mistakes. Forgive yourself. Be patient and kind to yourself. Extreme emotional pain has a profound effect on the body. Give yourself time to heal - physically and emotionally. Eat well. Rest. Focus on the natural beauty in the world. Give yourself permission to feel the emotions and process them. Don't bottle up the pain.
8.  
   Learn that the Aramaic word for "forgive" means literally to "untie." The fastest way to free yourself from an enemy and all associated negativity is to forgive. Untie the bindings and loosen yourself from that person's ugliness. Your hatred has tied you to the person responsible for your pain. Your forgiveness enables you to start walking away from him or her and the pain. Forgiveness is for you and not the other party. Freeing yourself through forgiveness is like freeing yourself from chains of bondage or from prison.
9.  
   Learn how to balance trust with wisdom. It's a fact that not all of our fellow humans are trustworthy. Painful memories can serve to protect us from future hurts. As author Rose Sweet writes, "A lack of trust is sometimes simply recognizing another's limitations".^[1]
   
   
   • Forgiveness is not acceptance of wrong behavior. If you must continue to interact with someone who has wronged you, who has offered a lame apology only to follow it up with more bad behavior, nothing requires you to trust such a person. This person isn't likely to ever be trustworthy -- you must keep a distance. While it's fruitless to torment yourself over this person's actions, you should not be his or her willing victim. Acknowledge; move on.
   • An offender who wants reconciliation must do his or her part: offer a sincere apology, promise not to repeat the offense (or similar ones), make amends, and give it time. If you don't see repentance, understand that according forgiveness to that person is a benefit to yourself, not to the offender.
   • Unless those who have harmed us have truly repented of whatever they have done, we need to use wisdom in avoiding repeating the hurt. This may require avoiding those who are unrepentant of the harm that they have inflicted upon us. It would be wise to balance forgiveness against the certain knowledge that evil exists, and some people enjoy harming others.
10.  
    Stop telling "the story." How many times this week did you tell "the story" about how badly you were hurt and how horribly you were wronged? How many times a day do you think about this hurt? It is a stake driven into the ground that keeps you from moving away from this hurt. Rather, forgive your enemy because it's the kindest thing you can do for your friends and family. Negativity is depressing - physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally.
11.  
    Tell "the story" from the other person's perspective. Actually imagine that you are the other person (the one who offended you) and use the word "I" when saying what that person would say. You, most likely, don't know exactly what s/he was thinking when this event unfolded but pretend that you do, and just go with the story that comes up in your head. Sit down with a friend, or maybe even the person you are trying to forgive, and tell the story as though you are that person. It is important to do this verbally and not just in your head. Realize in advance that this is not an easy exercise, but it holds great power. Your willingness to tell the story from the offender's perspective requires an effort at forgiveness. Also, realize that this is not a contradiction to the preceding paragraph since this perspective will change your story.
12.  
    Retrain your thinking. When your enemy and his or her evil actions come to mind, send him or her a blessing. Wish your enemy well. Hope the best for him or her. This has two effects. One, it neutralizes that acid of hate that destroys the vessel in which it is stored. The evil we wish for another seems to have a rebound effect. The same is true for the good that we wish for another. When you make yourself able to return blessing for hatred, you'll know that you're well on the path to wholeness. The first 15 - or 150 - times you try this, the "blessing" may feel contrived, empty, and even hypocritical but keep trying. Eventually, it will become a new habit and soon thereafter, the anger and pain that has burned in your heart will evaporate, like dew in the morning sun. This technique forces your mind to overcome the cognitive dissonance between hating someone and acting with compassion toward him or her. Since there is no way to take back the kind gesture to agree with your hatred, the only thing your mind can do is change your belief about the person to match. You will begin to say to yourself, "S/he is deserving of a blessing, and indeed, must need one very much."
13.  
    Maintain perspective: While the "evil" actions of your "enemy" are hurtful to you and your immediate surroundings, the rest of the world goes on unaware. Validate their meaning in your life, but never lose perspective that others are not involved and do not deserve anything to be taken out on them. Your enemy is someone else's beloved child, someone's employee, or a child's parent.

人生的狀態是由自己心靈的溫度決定的

一位白髮蒼蒼的老教授在學生畢業的最後一節課時說：「這是我給你們上最後一堂課了，這是一堂簡單的實驗課，也是一堂深奧的實驗課，我希望你們以後能永遠記住這最後一堂課。」

教授說著，取出一個玻璃容器，又注入了半容器清水。教授把盛水的容器放進一旁的冰櫃說：「現在我們將它製冷。」

... 過了一會兒，容器取出來了，裡面的水凝結成了晶瑩剔透的冰。
教授說：「0℃以下，這些水就成了冰，冰是水的另一種形態，但水成了冰，它就不能流動了。」

「現在，我們來看水的第三種形態。」教授邊說邊把盛冰的玻璃容器放在酒精爐上，並點燃了酒精爐。

過了一會兒，冰漸漸溶化成了水，後來水被燒沸了，咕咕嘟嘟地翻騰出一縷縷乳白色的水蒸氣，在實驗室裡靜靜地氤氳著、瀰漫著。過了沒多久，容器裡的水蒸發乾了。

教授關掉酒精爐，讓同學們一個個驗看玻璃容器，說：「誰能說出這些水到哪兒去了呢？」

學生盯著教授，他們不明白這最後一堂課，學識淵博的教授為什麼給他們做這個最簡單的實驗。

教授看著那些不願回答這個問題的學生說：「水哪裡去了呢？它們蒸發進空氣裡，融進藍藍的遼闊無邊的天空。」

教授微微頓了一頓又說：「你們可能都覺得這個實驗太簡單了，但是……」教授口氣一轉，嚴肅地說：「它並不是一個簡單的實驗！」

教授瞅了一眼那些迷惑不解的學生說：「水有三種狀態，人生也有三種狀態。水的狀態是由溫度決定的，人生的狀態是由自己心靈的溫度決定的。」

教授說：「假若一個人對生活和人生的溫度是 0℃以下，那麼這個人的生活狀態就會是冰，他的整個人生境界也就不過他雙腳站的地方那麼大；
假若一個人對生活和人生抱平常的心態，那麼他就是一掬常態下的水，他能奔流進大河、大海，但他永遠離不開大地；
假若一個人對生活和人生是 100℃的熾熱！那麼他就會成為水蒸氣，成為雲朵，他將飛起來，他不僅擁有大地，還能擁有天空，他的世界和宇宙一樣大。」

教授微笑著望著他的學生們問：「明白這堂最簡單的實驗課了嗎？」「不，這不是一堂簡單的實驗課！」學生們異口同聲地回答。

水的溫度靠火的加溫達到 100℃，而人心靈的溫度則靠正面的思考、樂觀的心、親友的關懷、溫柔體貼的心、對這世界的好奇心、勤奮努力等等來加溫。

希望今天這篇文章能讓各位朋友們心的溫度升到滿滿的 100℃，讓您我的生活變的更多加采多姿。





生命常常要下很多種決定

但如果你不去試試

你從沒做過的事情(正當的事情)

一些不平凡的人生體驗不會發生

鼓勵從沒在閱讀留言過的你

試著說點話，讓世界看見你^^

【給男人上一課】 智者講給男人長智慧

智者說：男人最大的敵人，不是時間，不是權利，不是金錢，甚至不是自己，而是女人和安於現狀。

智者說：除了自己的媽媽，和你...將來的老婆，誰也不值得你付出太多，為媽媽付出，因為媽媽給了你上半輩子的愛，為你老婆付出，因為下半輩子的愛，將會是她來給。

智者說：可以讓你的敵人知道你喜歡誰，但不要讓他知道你愛上了誰，一旦這樣，不僅是你，你愛的女人都會有危險，這就是不能愛上女人的原因。

智者說：男人過了10歲就不能再哭了，除非是你的至愛離你而去，你可以流淚，不然，誰都不值得。

智者說：做什麼事都要講究代價，人不為己天誅地滅，做一件事，要想想自己有沒有利益，值不值得，做了你能得到什麼！至少，你不能因為做了而失去什麼，這樣不值得。

智者說：你要是男人，就要做到一人做事一人當，義氣，豪氣，俠氣，說話不能太軟，男兒膝下有黃金，什麼時候膝蓋都不能軟。

智者說：做人要低調，你就太高調，要知道槍打出頭鳥，多想想自己出了頭，會遇到什麼問題。

智者說：男人要有擔當，每個男人身邊都要有一個圈，站在這個圈裡的人，才值得你用生命來守護，至於誰內誰外，就要看自己的本事了。

智者說：無論你多麼富有，無論你在什麼地方，都要謙遜，禮貌，不卑不亢，虛心學習自己不會的，不懂得，只有這樣，你才能不斷進步，爬上巔峰。

智者說：在父母百年彌留之際，你不要向他們保證自己有多富有，多有權利，但你要向他們保證，你已經具備了創造財富和得到權利的能力，這樣，他們才放心。

智者說：打女人的男人不是男人，女人是用來疼的，不要讓你的女人影響到你的事業，也不要讓你的事業影響的你的女人。

智者說：男人一個人在外闖蕩，受了再大的委屈，也不要放棄，不能氣，要記，記在心裡，早晚有一天，讓他們全部連本帶利還回來。

智者說：不要做讓自己後悔的事，要做，就做讓別人後悔的事，一輩子不長，如果盡活在回憶裡了，就廢了。

智者說：不要相信誓言，不要相信承諾，事實能證明一切，真正愛你的人，不會給你太多的誓言和承諾。

智者說：別把自己看的太低，不如你的人多得是，別把自己看的太高，你不如的人多得是，你要做的，就是努力讓前者變多，後者變少。色易守，情難防。See More

激励

【智慧人生】

 有时间的人不能成功，挤时间的人才能成功。

 八小时之内决定现在，八小时之外决定未来。

 什么样的想法什么样的生活。

 有学习才有选择权，没有知识，
... 也要有常识，没有常识，更要走进教室。 

 不是社会发展太快，是我们思维反应太慢，
为什么我们思维太慢，是我们没有跟上学习。

 人生有悲哀，其中之一是毕业以后不再学习。

 拒绝学习，就是拒绝成长。

 家长不学习，会被孩子看不起并且和孩子有代沟。

 夫妻一方不学习，就会有隔阂。

 学习的人如同长高的树，自然会有高藤来缠。

 一个人不学习，就会与社会脱节，跟不上时代步伐，
人活在21世纪，思想在20世纪，究竟学什么？

 不是学打工的技术，而是学创业的本领。

思想观念40% +人际关系40% +专业能力20%
=成功从这个公式里找自己的短处，

缺啥学啥，社会需要啥你就学啥，
不只是学感兴趣的，而是学有利于社会，有利于成功的。
人要有二亩田，白天是果腹的，晚上是耕种未来的。
不学习是21世纪被淘汰的八种人首选第一的人

http://jimrogers1.blogspot.ca/2012/06/jim-rogers-we-are-due-for-recession-in.html

"Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success."- Henry Ford
"The Future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their Dreams" - Eleanor Roosavelt

~不想穷下去就看看~

 无论你是男人，还是女人，做人，想成功，下面就是你必须要做到的：

1，这是个现实的社会，感情不能当饭吃，贫穷夫妻百事哀。不要相信电影里的...故事情节，那只是个供许多陌生人喧嚣情感的场所。只有不理智和不现实的人才相信

2，给自己定目标，一年，两年，五年，也许你出生不如别人好，通过努力，往往可以改变70%的命运。破罐子破摔只能和懦弱做朋友。

3，朋友请你吃饭，不要觉得理所当然，请礼尚往来，否则你的名声会越来越差。

4，好朋友里面，一定要培养出一个知己，不要以为你有多么八面玲珑，到处是朋友，最后真心对你的，只有一个，相信我。

5，不要相信算卦星座命理，那是哄小朋友的，命运掌握在自己手中。坐在家里等什么房子，车子，还不如睡一觉做个好梦。

6，不喜欢的人少接触，但别在背后说坏话，说是非之人，必定是是非之人，谨记，祸从口出。

7，少玩游戏，这不是韩国，你打不出房子车子还有资本。可以有爱好，但要把握尺度，少玩农场，牧场，斗地主等一些高度吸引人思想的晋级游戏，也许你的级别很高，但不代表你有多么成功，反而会影响和占据你成功的时间。

8，是人都有惰性，这是与生俱来的，但是我们后天可以改变这种惰性，因为有很多人正在改变。对于某种事物或是生意不要等别人做到了，我才想到。不要等别人已经赚到钱了，我才想去做。没有人相信的是市场和机遇，大家都相信的叫做膨胀。

9，知道自己要干什么，夜深人静，问问自己，将来的打算，并朝着那个方向去实现。而不是无所事事和做一些无谓的事。

10，出路出路，走出去了，总是会有路的。困难苦难，困在家里就是难。

《社会调查》普遍认为。

11，作为女人，不要以老卖老，认为事业跟自己没关系，以为自己就是洗衣服，做饭，看孩子，那就是大错特错。

12，做人，要做到；万事孝为先，教童品之道，夫妻和谐美，幸福万年长。但是这些不是拿来用嘴说说就能办到的，解放初期年代要做到这些，需要付出很大的努力和辛苦，当今现实的社会需要你付出很大的金钱，聪明的人都知道这个道理。

13，空闲时间不要经常上网做无聊的事和玩一些没有意义的游戏，读点文学作品，学习一些经营流程，管理规范，国际时事，法律常识。这能保证你在任何聚会都有谈资。

14，宁可错杀一千次来自各方面的信息，也不放过任何一个有可能成功的机会。只有这样你才不会去买后悔药。

15，要做一件事，成功之前，没有必要告诉其他人。成功之后不用你说，其他人都会知道的。这就是信息时代所带来的效应

16，头发，指甲，胡子，打理好。社会是个排斥性的接受体，这个星球所需要的艺术家极其有限，请不要冒这个险，就算你留长头发比较好看，也要尽量给人干净的感觉。

17，不要以为你是个男人，就不需要保养。至少饮食方面不能太随便，多吃番茄，海产品，韭菜，香蕉，都是对男性健康有益处的食物。你要是看不到价值，我可以告诉你。至少你能把看病节约下来的钱给你的女人多买几个化妆品.

18，力求上进的人，不要总想着靠谁谁，人都是自私的，自己才是最靠得住的人。

19，面对失败，不要太计较，天将降大任于斯人也，必先苦其心志，劳其筋骨，饿起体肤……但要学会自责，找到原因，且改掉坏习惯。 二十岁没钱，那很正常；三十岁没钱，可能是没有好的家境，需要更大的努力；四十岁没钱，只能自己找原因。穷人变成富人是可能的，而且很可能。穷人能穷一辈 子，也是必然的，存在就是理由，只是有所选择。

20，每个人都有成功的机会！就看你给不给自己机会！